I don't know what it is about summer. Or, just being home in general. But, when the kiddos are home, it seems like all they do is eat. And eat. And eat.
I know this is a totally common complaint, and while all us moms (and dads) complain about the amount of food (and, subsequently, toilet paper) that gets consumed in the house every day, no one that I know of has come up with a really good reason why. Is it that they're fattening themselves up, like bears before hibernation, for the 9 long months of school with no snacks for hours at a time? Is it simply that they know that there's food in the pantry (or van), and the idea that it's there is simply more than they can resist? Is it that they're moving and running and swinging and swimming more when they're home and they need the extra nutrition?
Or, are they just trying to drive me crazy? Or, into bankruptcy?
I've said before that DQ and WMB are like hobbits without the hairy feet. They eat breakfast, second breakfast, snack, brunch, elevenses, noonsies, lunch, snack, etc... Our food bill is second only to our mortgage, and I'm an avid couponer (labeled an "organized couponer" by this past Sunday's Parade magazine in the Washington Post! Oooo, I feel so special!) with a mini-stockpile of nummies that never seems to last long enough. While others may fear the attitudes and impulse control issues of their childrens' imminent teenage years--I fear the food bill. If I can barely keep up with them now, I figure I'm totally screwed in about 6-7 years.
I love the fact that my kids have tons of reasonably healthy (if you can consider Pirate's Booty and organic juiceboxes healthy) snacks at the ready, but just keeping up with them is exhausting. Who hasn't gone grocery shopping one day, and come home proud as a proverbial peacock about all the delicious munchies they picked up, only to find the cupboard bare the next day. Or, worse yet, later that same evening.
"Couponing" (can you believe that's even a verb these days?) has always been part of my life. I was raised by a mother that knew how to "work a deal" and was amazing at scouting bargains. I never knew that buying food or household items without a coupon was even possible, and eating meat that didn't have an orange markdown sticker on it was almost unheard-of. Once when I was little, my mom was making dinner and I noticed the meat package wasn't "marked down". I loudly asked "hey mom--are we having company for dinner?" "yes dear. why?" "because we aren't having discount meat!"
Yes, as you can probably guess, the "company" was in the next room and heard it all. Thank Maude they just laughed... Heaven knows, they probably understood completely.
Of course, when your little, you don't realize how hard your parents work to put food on the table. And, as a teenager, I just found it completely humiliating that my mom used coupons and scoured the markdowns and dented can shelves. Now--I understand.
So, I went back to my mom and re-learned how to use coupons and match them to sales. I learned about the RiteAid Single Check Rebates and haven't paid full price for OTC meds again (hint, around October, RiteAid has a huge OTC SCR event where you can get enough cold and flu medication to last all winter). I taped and watched (and rewatched) every episode of "Extreme Couponing" and joined a bazillion couponing and frugal living sites. And, I've got the whole stacking thing down pat (use a store coupon with a manufacturer's coupon when the things you want are on sale, and you get a triple bargain!).
But, I still barely keep up with the hobbits. And, don't even get me into talking about MacGyver. Entire boxes of crackers mysteriously disappear when he's around.... (And, how is it that the guys can eat junk to their hearts' content, and we gain weight just watching them snack? Huh? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)
So, I'll just have to continue with the constant grocery shopping, cooking, and serving for my pint-sized vacuum cleaners (they "hoover" everything in their way). And hope that I can find either a really well paying job or a money tree in the backyard by the time they hit their teenage years. Because by then I'll need an addition to the house to hoard their snacks, as well as a well-stocked checkbook to pay for their granola bars and grapes.
In the meantime, I'll enjoy their not-so-tiny gastronomic desires and the funny way they cram as much as they can in their cheeks like a pack of chipmunks, so they can run off and play with their friends with their snacks at hand (or, in mouth). I'll try not to get exasperated when I'm cleaning DQ's room and find her "stash" of snacks ("in case I get hungry at night, mommy!") and juice boxes. And, I'll keep clipping my coupons for Charmin and White Cloud, since we all know what happens when you eat that much. What goes in, must come out. And that's a whole other post...
Because, one day in the hopefully not-so-near future, I'll only be shopping for two. Suddenly, a windfall of disposable income from the lack of feeding Frodo and Merrie every 30 seconds will appear, and I suppose MacGyver and I will use it to start checking off things from our bucket lists (it should only take a few weeks of not feeding Hobbit appetites to save enough for a eco-vacation to Costa Rica at this point...) And, I'll look back at these years filled with the sounds of munching, slurping, and burping with great nostalgia. Maybe.
Or, maybe I'll just re-read Lord of the Rings...
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